It’s official: Americans are getting more stupid

What better day than 4th July to officially reveal that stupidity in the United States of America has been statistically on the rise for several decades, and has now hit an all time high.

In a recent civic education poll among public school students in the USA, a surprising 77% admitted they “don’t know what a table is”, and 69% “didn’t know the name of the town they lived in”. Only 2.8% of the students interviewed knew their own name.

Meanwhile, according to a National Research Council report, only 28% of high school teachers in he U.S. “know that apples are fruit”, and 13% of those teachers believe “that electricity comes from the moon.”

Various things have contributed to this upsurge in stupidity. These include the triumph of MTV over newspapers, American’s shaky grasp of basic geography, science and history, and a steep rise in “anti-intellectualism”. In American schools “it has never been so cool to be a moron.”

In a recent Newsweek poll of U.S. citizens, 29% couldn’t successfully identify their own feet, and 44% couldn’t describe what a sofa was. 82% of college students said that the only book they had ever read was Facebook.

After studying these most recent results, an educational researcher told us, “It’s getting harder and harder to underestimate the intelligence of the U.S. public. 83% of Americans now score well below the average intelligence level of a spoon.”