Call for drugs tests as Celtic win Scottish League for 48th time

Football fans north of the border are calling for the Celtic team to be tested for performance enhancing drugs, following their winning of the league title in Scotland for the 48th time.

As the season draws to a close, the league leaders are 30 points ahead of their nearest rival.

“They’ve not lost a single game all season,” a rival fan told the Daily Chronicle, “They’ve racked up 100 points so far and have scored nearly a hundred goals. When are the SFA going to realise that something dodgy has been going on for years? No-one gets 100 points in football. It’s a bloody joke!”

Commentators have always questioned whether there’s any point having a football league in Scotland at all, but this is the first time that unfair practice has been suggested.

It was first thought that Celtic might be cheating following their 6-1 thrashing of Kilmarnock in September, and the subject of “performance enhancing substances” was first hinted at after they smashed another 6 goals past Inverness Thistle in February.

Rod Stewart is 72.