Tim Farron, Theresa May and Jeremy Corbyn refuse lie detector tests

With only a few days to go before the General Election, the leaders of the three main parties have refused to take part in a lie detector test.

Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn told the Daily Chronicle, “This is all about freedom. As an elected member of parliament, and the leader of a major political party, I must have the freedom to lie whenever I deem it necessary. Clearly, this freedom would be compromised if I was wired up to a polygraph.”

A spokesperson for Channel 4 told us, “We asked Tim Farron if we could attach pneumatic breathing tubes and monitoring sensors to his chest and arms during an interview with Jeremy Paxman. Mr. Farron declined.”

Like Corbyn, the LibDem Leader insisted that “he would not be able to do his job properly” if he was connected to a lie detector. “Lying is the most important part of an election campaign,” he explained, “If we’re not in a position to do it, it would undermine the entire political system and electoral process.”

A spokesperson for No.10 told us, “The Prime Minister has never told the truth in her life, and she has no plans to start now.”

A BBC spokesperson concluded, “It might have been an interesting experiment, but in our view it’s not necessary to use technology to tell whether a politician is lying.”