“The best way to fight COVID is to shoot at it” says NRA

U.S. President Donald Trump – a life-long supporter of the NRA – has called upon Americans to “Pick up their firearms and start shooting at the virus.”

A spokesperson for the National Rifle Association has since told the Daily Chronicle, “We ain’t afraid of no goddamn chicken-shit virus. The best way to stop a killer is to kill it before it kills you.”

The NRA spokesperson added, “The virus is everywhere, so we need to be completely indiscriminate when aiming our weapons.”

“The most effective way to combat the disease is to stand in the centre of a public space and spray bullets around over a target area of 360 degrees.”

The NRA offers the following advice to its members: “Automatic weapons are by far the most effective way of stopping COVID-19, but even hunting rifles or small calibre hand guns can make a valuable contribution to slowing down the spread of the disease.”

On the subject of wearing protective face masks, the NRA’s position is also unambiguous. “As long as we keep shooting at COVID-19 we’ll stop the virus dead in its tracks, and there’ll be no need for any more of them goddamn faggot face masks!”