Wales “is not the size of Wales”

Scientists announced today that Wales is actually slightly smaller than was previously thought, making thousands of geographical and meteorological comparisons redundant.

One scientist told the Daily Chronicle, “For many years we have been comparing areas or events of a particular size to ‘the size of Wales’, but that statement now turns out to be completely inaccurate.”

“We now know that Wales is actually 46 square metres smaller than was previously believed,  so any comparison we’ve previously published will have to be retracted, re-written and re-published.”

Traditionally, newspaper readers have always known how big something is by comparing it to a double-decker bus, a football pitch, an Olympic-sized swimming pool, Wembley Stadium or Wales. All this will have to change now.

Donald Trump’s brain is the size of a baked bean.